Well i was reading my book "living water" by Bother Yun. I was reading chapter 5 "the Pregnancy of the Holy Spirit". kind of hit home to me. I felt like i had i have to write my thoughts down , and that is why i have this blog going.

This is the bit that hit home to me.

The world does not need any more religion! It needs Jesus Christ. Religion is people's attempt to do God's work in their own strength. Jesus wants us to live and walk in God's strength.
God is only interested in His work, not our work. He oversees and empowers those things that originate in His heart. On judgment day, only that which wad birthed and sustained by the Holy Spirit will survive. Paul told the church in Corinth:
Now if any man builds upon the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, each man's work will become evident; for the day will show it, because it is the be revealed with fire; and the fire itself will test the quality of each man's work. If any man's work which he has built upon it remains, he shall receive a reward. If any man;s work is burned up, he shall suffer loss; but he himself shall be saved, yet so as through fire.
(1 Corinthians 3:12-15)
Trying to live the christian life in your own strength and by your own efforts is a very frustrating and futile experience. We need to ask God to humble us and to make us realize He is in charge. our role is simply to hear his voice, to give our lives unreservedly so that we may become pregnant by the Holy Spirit and to obey His command to reach this sick and hurting world.

This got me really thinking about i how i been so frustrated i have been and now i am now a little. I think that is why i wondered so far from Him and his peace, all because i was to focused on what i can do and what i can offer to the people and groups i was involved in. and so all i started to see was the hypocrisy, which is there, and i start to be critical on them, and i still fall into it. As i try to re seek out God and my life with Him, i need to give that up and sacrifice it to Him. Which boils down to it, STOP DOING EVERYTHING ON MY OWN STRENGTH!!!

So it is going to take me each day to give up what i am doing and just let God lead the way in all areas of my life. which may need me to consistently remind myself of this every moment of the day.

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On a different note, in a way.

I went for an interview for a different position at work, and i hope i get it. It is a full time, but it will have me traveling 4 days, or well nights of the week, but it will give me the freedom of the weekends. pay does not sound as much different as what i am getting now but, it will be full time and not this dumb 16 hours a week stuff. The just will also have other perks and benefits, including insurance, which is something i SO need. i don't know when the last time i had any health insurance.
All i ask is that to pray and seek to find out if this is the Lords will for my life at this moment. i know with the weekends free, i know i can start working Sunday morning church back into my life like i use to have it, and maybe help with the teens again. that is one thing i do miss a lot. Spending all that time with the teens and give them help and encouragement for their lives, like i use to.